… And Went On Vacation Without ME!!!
Yesterday my husband mentioned how long it has been since we made love. I was surprised at the length of time… not only because I generally have more of an appetite than he does… but because I hadn’t even noticed it had been so long.
When I first discovered he was a porn addict, some of our intimacy patterns suddenly made sense…
* His genitals are his only erogenous zone.
* Sometimes he is unable to achieve an erection.
* He avoids intimacy if he has been home alone for a while.
* Other times he said he had an orgasm, but his body gave no sign during lovemaking, and there is no evidence of ‘his seed’.
For the last two years while we both attended addiction recovery groups I fought really hard to at least maintain the physical intimacy we shared. However when I recently discovered he was REGULARLY relapsing, and lying about his sobriety date, something changed inside me.
Obviously it is important we share physical intimacy. It is just so hurtful that at bedtime he would rather roll towards the wall, put his earphones in so he doesn’t ‘keep me awake’, tell me he is listening to music on his iphone, and gorge on pornography instead 😨 More and more I find myself curled up alone on my side of the mattress.
I need an aphrodisiac.