I started a new class at the gym, so yesterday I was late getting home. The dirty dishes on the table announced that everyone else was there, but only my husband could be seen, still in the dining room, fiddling with one of his guns.
I understand that children need to be reminded to get their dishes in the dishwasher. Nothing tips me over the edge faster than returning to a dirty kitchen, and the other parent ‘on duty’ is not directing the little devils.
I was tired and hungry, and in a snotty tone huffed, “I guess I will clean up the kitchen. ” He stood up, but I was already gathering dishes, quickly rinsing, and slamming them into the dishwasher. He called for the son in charge of the kitchen, but I was already wiping off the counters and washing out the sink. Our daughter walked in with the mop so I retired to the master bedroom.
He came to bed three hours before the morning alarm. THREE HOURS! Of course I was long asleep, but that was the point. He didn’t want to see me so he waited. If there was any way he could sneak in bed without raising my awareness enough to look at the clock, believe me, he would!
Today I come home to roses, and I am furious. We have discussed that flowers are not an apology! Give them to express love, appreciation, celebration…
Then I remembered… Oh yea… We can’t talk about issues.
My husband is a porn addict, still new in the recovery process. Arguing is a trigger, so we just don’t. I am too afraid to talk about anything controversial right now.
That is the THORN of PORN: Recovery takes time, but stress can cause a relapse, so while he spends years recovering, don’t stress him out…